A GIRL’S GUIDE TO SURVIVING A WEDDING (When It’s Not Your Own)

Wedding Season is approaching, the invitations are piling up, and instead of saving up for your summer vacation, you spend your entire salary on bridesmaid dresses, plane tickets, and gifts…for someone else’s wedding!

Contrary to popular belief, being single when all your friends are getting married is not a taboo, you can still breathe, walk, talk and live as a single girl.

Yes, It is easy to get overwhelmed, stressed, broke, sad, and unbelievably resentful. However, do not fret.  Everyone including your friend who is getting married has been single and lonely at some point. Luckily, here are tips you need to get through the day like a rockstar!

LEARN TO SAY “NO”

There is no rule that says you have to attend every wedding you get an invite to. If you didn’t get a save-the-date message or your invite was delivered suspiciously close to the wedding date then, sorry to say, you just might be on the “If-there-is-still-space-or-invites-left” List. It is honestly okay to say no, especially if it’s an out-of-town affair or you feel like you were an obligatory invite.

IF YOU HAVE AN EXCUSABLE REASON TO MISS THE WEDDING, THEN USE IT

Unfortunately, all single girls have friends and family that may also be attending a wedding, so it seems extremely necessary that they show their face, or forever be tagged as having “beef” for the bride. If however, you have a solid reason to miss the wedding, for instance: long distance, lack of travel funds or a prior engagement, why not take the opportunity and send a witty, heartfelt apology and congratulations to the couple, as well as a gift.

DON’T BE A BRIDESMAID

This is very important. The single girl who isn’t a bridesmaid can hide in a seat during the ceremony or duck outside when it is time for spinsters to be called to the stage for the bouquet toss. A bridesmaid, on the other hand, would have to spend the wedding day close to the center of attention (the bride), making it really hard for her to hide or leave when she wants.

DON’T BREAK THE BANK GIFTING

Weddings are expensive for guests too. Bridal shower gifts, bachelorette parties, wedding gifts…they add up to thousands of Naira. Go in with other friends on a gift so you don’t go broke during the season. It’s the thought that counts here. You could also DIY a gift or offer your services (design invites, bake the cake for the shower, etc.) if you can.

NEVER GO ALONE

If you MUST go to a wedding, never go alone. Find out if a mutual friend will be attending solo and make plans to pair up. If your invite, however, admits an extra guest, take a male friend along who of course knows when to stick with you and when to make himself scarce. If you will be on the lookout for Mr. Possibly Right at the wedding, a female friend will make you look less desperate and more approachable, but if you were alone, you would probably just have to sit alone and wonder why on earth you came.

WEAR A FANTASTIC OUTFIT

Flying solo means you have to look good. A great outfit, hair, and makeup are the single girl’s confidence-enhancing armour. A short dress better suited for the club will scream  “Desperate” from the moment you walk in. Also, stay away from ANY shade of white—you know why. Be creative with the dress code or find a stunning ensemble that looks great, is comfortable and makes everyone realize how happy the single girl really is.

TRY TO GET A GOOD SEAT AT THE RECEPTION

Choose your seat-buddies carefully – it can be the difference between sitting at a table full of other fun young singles and being relegated to one of the Aunties’ tables, where you will be grilled on everything from your exposed cleavage to your lack of a ring on the engagement-ring finger.

WORK YOUR TABLE

The “singles table” can be a good thing. Weddings are the easiest place to strike up conversation with a potential date. Simply ask them how they know the bride and groom, and let the conversation flow.

BE CHARMING, ALWAYS

Someone else’s wedding is not the place to start talking about divorce rates or how all men cheat. Keep your mood and banter light and happy lest you be tagged “sad” or “bitter”, especially if the wedding you’re at is for a younger person.  Behave appropriately: no overeating or shouting at the waiters to serve your table; and no drunken speeches. Also, PLEASE do not fight for souvenirs; it’s just a plastic bowl.

AVOID THE BOUQUET TOSS

Please. How many bouquets have you caught and how many marriages have you had since then? Ignore the myth and avoid this part of the reception during which all eyes will be on you as a single girl. It’s a sort of minefield waiting to happen. Seem too eager and you’ll never live it down; act too nonchalant about it and people will start to wonder. Just avoid.

PRE-PLAN YOUR EXIT

If you are not driving or being driven away from the reception, make sure to pre-book a cab. This is the Cinderella Effect. Cinderella caused a sensation is because she left early. Always leave people wanting more. If you aren’t a bridesmaid, there really is no need to hang around till the event planners start packing up chairs. Shortly after the dance begins is a good time to say your goodbyes to the couple and friends, mumble about another engagement you have to meet up with and make your exit. Let them wonder about your full social calendar. And besides, being seen standing around looking for a “lift” as others drive away is never a good look.

At the end of the day, you owe it to yourself to have fun and enjoy every bit of the wedding even if it isn’t your own. Put aside your own thoughts, be happy for the bride and groom and show your support of the celebration you’re at. It’ll be your own big day before you know it.

IMAGE SOURCE: Glamour, darlingmagazine , fashionpoliceng

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