We have not spent a day away from each other since she was born.

Every time I have to leave her for a few hours, I get so anxious. Partly because she’s still breastfeeding and very attached to it. The other reason is that I don’t quite trust others with her. Yeah… Mommy is ready to wean but baby isn’t and that alone makes me want to scream. The letting-go process is not easy people, but I also know the importance for the both of us. This kind of attachment is only good until a certain point, then it all becomes very weird.


So, I know how crucial this point in our mother-daughter relationship is, but I can’t deny how gut wrenching it is. However, I need us to start building our independence away from each other. We both need to be in a space that serves our development respectively. Opportunity for most of what I have been planning and praying for has finally presented itself. So, I am excited and bummed out at the same time.

I have been going back and forth about the decision of whether I should get a full-time nanny or take her to school. My coin won’t allow me to do both at this point so one must die. The upside about the nanny is that little one will receive individual attention; she won’t get sick easily and both can tag along with me when it’s suitable. Little one isn’t speaking in full sentences yet so I can’t ask her what happened at school. The upside about day-care is that little one gets to play with other children and her social skills are developed. She also gets used to a routine and exposed to tasks that aren’t at home, and the playground instead of Disney Junior and house chores.

Now it’s about looking for the right day care centre, an inclusive one seeing as I am in predominantly white area. I want her to socialize with children from different backgrounds in an environment that allows and encourages it.

How does a parent figure out if a day care centre is the right environment anyway? Do you just play trial and error with your child?

I guess it’s the same process with a nanny; you watch out for signs of whether they are unhappy or not. I guess all I can do is decide, then hope and pray for the best cause mama gotta work now.

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