Do you think feminism has been overrated and over time lost it’s true essence? Do you think a woman should have ultimate independence, or clearly in today’s world, she should be independent yet upholding the duties of man as ‘head’ traditionally? Perhaps this might go a long way into answering the question to why women also end up single after their youthful stage.According to the Office for National Statistics, marriage in Britain is at its lowest level since 1895. In 2011, there were just 286,634 ceremonies — a 41 per cent free fall from 1972, when 480,285 couples tied the knot.
According to a new book, Stand By Your Manhood by Peter Lloyd, men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,’ says Dr Helen Smith, a lecturer at the University of Tennessee and author of Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood And The American Dream.
Take former Arsenal footballer Ray Parlour. When he wed girlfriend Karen in 1998, it all started out rosy. But by the time the relationship fell apart in 2004, the former optician’s nurse didn’t just get two mortgage-free houses, £38,500 in annual support for their three children and a £250,000 tax-free lump sum… Oh no. She also got personal maintenance of £406,500 a year from her ex’s future earnings. This, she said, was because she had ‘encouraged’ him to be a good midfielder
So, what’s a man to do? ‘If he’s determined to get married, then he must get a pre-nuptial agreement,’ says Baldwin. ‘Otherwise steer clear altogether.
‘Be in a relationship, even live together. But don’t get married. Especially if you have any prospect of making money.’
American social commentator Suzanne Venker agrees. The problem with divorce settlements, she says, is women want to have their cake and eat it.
‘We messed with the old marriage structure and now it’s broken,’ she says. ‘Back in the old days, stay-at-home mothers got a financial reward because child-rearing doesn’t pay cash.
‘Now we want total independence from men, but if we divorce — even without having children — we expect to get alimony for ever. We can’t have it both ways.’
Along with the prospect of endless domestic criticism, this is why men are saying ‘I don’t’ rather than ‘I do’. Men need marriage like a fish needs a bicycle.
Many women have been raised to think of men as the enemy. It’s precisely this dynamic — women good, men bad — that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes.
‘After decades of browbeating, men are tired. Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s their fault. The rise of women has not threatened men. It has just irritated them.’
A controversial new book argues that the triumph of feminism has meant men are now second-class citizens. With the viewpoints mentioned above, do you think this will soon be the case of African men and women?
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